


Whatever you say darling

by XtaticPearl



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Arguing, Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship, Denial of Feelings, Didn't Know They Were Dating, Domestic Avengers, Everyone Thinks They're Together, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Frustrated Tony, Humor, Idiots in Love, Insecure Bucky Barnes, Jealousy, M/M, Missions Gone Wrong, Moping Ice Cream Sessions, Mutual Pining, Past Character Death, Pining Tony Stark, Possessive Behavior, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Tony Stark, Self-Esteem Issues, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-06-10 06:05:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6942853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XtaticPearl/pseuds/XtaticPearl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony has been trying to woo Bucky for about a year now. He flirts, he builds him things, he kisses him on the cheek after movie nights and does almost everything he can think of to convince the guy that he really wants to date him. Bucky is strangely steadfast in his answer though: No, they can't date. After an explosive argument about the issue, Tony leaves the Tower for Malibu, making the team wary of a moody Bucky. When he comes back after two weeks, things are a bit...different.<br/>Tony is actually doing exactly what Bucky asks. And it is creeping the team out while making Bucky go crazy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whatever you say darling

**Author's Note:**

  * For [padawanewan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/padawanewan/gifts).



> Ta-da! This is a gift fic for my buddy bro who has always encouraged and supported my fics! I promised a WinterIron fic during a game we played in an earlier fic, Unwritten Endings, so here it is! Hope you like it bro <3

In hindsight, the Gala was probably not a good place to have flirted so openly. With groping included. And a failed attempt at kissing. Tony blamed that part on the stupid mistletoe.

"Buck! Bucky, wait! _James_!"

"Don't!" Bucky whirled around and met Tony's eyes with cold pale ones of his own, his jaw ticking with the gritting he was doing ever since he slipped out of the mansion, "Just, don't, Tony."

"Honey, come on, it was nothing..." Tony attempted a placating smile, reaching for Bucky's hand, disregarding the fact that they were in a parking lot where anybody could come.

Bucky jerked his hand away and shook his head viciously. "No, you had no right," he bit out, eye boring into Tony's, "you had no right to do that there. What were you thinking?"

Well, Tony would have loved to say that he was thinking about telling Bucky how much he loved him but that was clearly not going to work at the moment. So he shrugged helplessly and gestured vaguely with his hands.

"It was just a bit of harmless flirting, Buck," Tony said with a half-grin, "you've seen me do it for a long time now. Was it really that strange that I did it today too?"

Bucky opened his mouth and shut it, breathing out shakily and running his metal hand through his neatly combed hair.

"That was at home. You do that all the time at  _home_ ," he shot back, "and you don't say ... You don't do  _this_ even at home!"

"So what?" Tony quipped with an incredulous look, not seeing the point, "so things got a little bit out of control today but it wasn't so bad, was it? Look babe, if you're worried about the press then you know I'll handle it."

"Why did you have to do it in the first place?" Bucky asked, shoving both hands into his trousers, feeling the first bite of cold in the air.

Tony stared at him for a second and let out a huff of incredulous laughter.

"Seriously? You're actually asking me this?" the genius asked with wide eyes, "Honey, you aren't that blind. And you aren't deaf either. You know why I flirt with you. Hell, even Barton knows why I flirt with you and he's not the brightest bulb in town."

Bucky's eyes looked pained for a minute before he breathed out and looked up again.

"I've told you before, Tones, it's not right"

"And I've told you before, that's a load of crap."

"Tony, you need to stop playing around with me. It's going to make people think something serious."

"Whatever made you think that I don't want it to be serious?!"

"Tony..."

"No, you listen to me," Tony cut in, getting seriously pissed, "I've been flirting with you for a year now. I've tried every trick in the book, I've kept my boundaries, okay maybe not all that much today but hey, that was the mistletoe. I've given you pink elephant sized hints, I've made the shittiest excuses to spend time with you and I've not once felt that it was too much work. Goddamit Barnes, I even eat three meals a day so that you don't get that adorable frown on your face. What more do I have to do to make you believe that I actually want to date you?"

"You don't," Bucky replied quietly, "and I told you yesterday, I don't want to talk about this or do this. Why don't you take a hint?"

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?!" Tony threw his hands up in the air, "Barney-boy, your hints are the worst kind of double-meanings! You say no and I can read yes in your eyes. So no, sorry, not taking that hint till I figure out what exactly the problem is."

"Tony, I don't want to do this."

"Why?! Is it the physics? Is it the history? It can't be the chemistry because that we have."

"It's not...it's not that."

"Then what? Just tell me today, because I'm not getting a clue on why you don't want to date me."

"Just drop it please."

"No, Buck, come on. Just tell me. We can work it out."

"We can't work everything out."

"Yes, we can. I can. I'm an engineer. I fix things, I make them work."

"This isn't a machine, Tony."

"It's a problem, right? I can solve problems, you know I can. Just please, tell me."

"Tony, please, just don't..."

"What? What is it? Bucky, please for God's sake -"

"It's you!" Bucky burst out and Tony snapped his mouth shut, blinking at the taller man, "The problem, it's you, alright? It's you. I can't date  _you_. I don't have issues with my sexuality, it's not the press, it's not the team, it's you."

Tony remained silent for a few minutes, watching Bucky's face in shock. The ex-soldier had closed his eyes shut and was rubbing his face with his flesh hand, looking agitated.  _Embarrassed_ , Tony's mind supplied as the words echoed in his head. He had heard these words before, quite a long time back, from another man from the 40's. His dad. Someone who had coldly placed all the blame of their failed relation on Tony. Calling him a problem. Sending him to a boarding school to become the solution. 

Even as he remembered that part of his life, he knew that it was unfair to compare that to James Bucky Barnes. Bucky wasn't Howard, not by a long shot. Bucky had never told Tony that he was supposed to be made of iron; hell, he was one of the few people who had taken Tony's vulnerability in stride, respecting him for it rather than ridiculing it. Bucky had never shied away from discussing Tony's inventions, listening to him patiently when he rambled about its technicality. Bucky had never Tony's usefulness over his life. Bucky had never judged him for his past mistakes. Bucky hadn't seen him as an asset. He had always made him feel like a friend, somebody worth his time and care.

And now he had told that his problem was Tony.

The air was cold against his face and Tony felt it stinging his eyes. That must be the reason, he decided, that must be the reason he felt tears prickling. There was no relationship between tear glands and heart valves, right? There was no way broken hearts would lead to uncontrolled tear glands. Tears were an indication of pain, right? Tony felt no pain right now, nothing at all. He felt quite numb actually, as though somebody had pulled his heart out and had placed an icebox in its place. There was ice in his veins, sharp, jagged and tearing through every path it traveled. It was the air, he reminded his brain dully, it was the cold night air. It wasn't his heart, which seemed to have stopped with the words  _it's you_.

"I'm sorry," he said mechanically, no higher than a whisper but catching Bucky's attention looking at the concerned frown on his face, "I didn't realize. I'll stop it now."

Bucky looked like he was going to say something but visibly reined himself back and clenched his hands in a fist at his sides, an unreadable expression on his face. Tony was suddenly feeling tired though, and turned around, intending to go back to the party.

He had taken a couple of steps when Bucky called him.

"Tony!"

The numb genius didn't turn around but tilted his head to the side to show that he was listening. Bucky paused for a minute before his voice carried over, soft and gentle, like he was trying to spare Tony's feelings.

"You deserve somebody great," Bucky said and Tony had to grit his teeth at that, "I'm sure you'll find that somebody soon."

"Yeah? I think that train won't stop at my station," Tony replied quietly before walking away, quick steps carrying him away from the disaster he would need to forget soon. When he reached the entrance of the mansion again, he paused and took in the happy atmosphere inside. It made him want to hurl or snap somebody's head off. He couldn't though, not today. This was Pepper's party and he owed her a lot, especially after the near death experience he had put both her and Happy through in the last botched up mission. He couldn't vent the hurricane in his head here. He needed to get away. Away from all this happiness. Away from Bucky Barnes. Away from the reminder of him being a problem.

Taking an impromptu decision, he turned around and pulled out his phone. There were times he could misuse the privilege of owning a flying suit. With one message dropped to Pepper's phone, he called his spare suit from the back of the mansion and got in.

As he flew across the night to Malibu, Tony had only one thought in mind.

There was nobody great meant for him. And he was going to have to settle with that.

\---------------

Bucky felt weary as he dragged his feet into the elevator. This was officially the worst night of his life post-Hydra. He felt lower than scum and he had nobody to tell that to. Steve was still probably busy with Sharon back at the party, celebrating their first Christmas together. Natasha was away on a mission and would be back only tomorrow. And Tony...

Tony, Bucky thought with the pain returning like a massive truck crash. There would probably be no more Tony for him. He had effectively ended that tonight. He had taken the proverbial hammer and smashed the possibility with his own hands. Bucky closed his eyes and leaned a bit against the elevator door, remembering the shocked expression on Tony's face when Bucky had thrown away his affection. Tony, the beautiful, brilliant, mischievous, kind, complex and wonderful man - his Tony, his friend. Bucky had thrown away the chance of having something more with him. 

"Fuck" he whispered harshly into the vacant space, "Fuck fuck fuck. I'm so sorry Tony, I'm so sorry...but I had to. I had to do it. I'm so sorry, doll."

Bucky knew that Tony wasn't kidding around. He had known it from the fourth month Tony had been flirting with him. The movie nights the genius would spend cuddled into Bucky's blanket. The workshop lunches he would easily eat off Bucky's plate, with that smug grin on his face. The late night sky-watching he would do on the roof, wearing a hoodie stolen from Bucky's wardrobe, teaching Bucky about the stars they saw through the telescope. The battle-codes and sync they had developed seamlessly, having each other's back without thinking twice. The sleepy smiles over the first cup of coffee. The sweet cheek kisses after ice-cream nights. The sudden hugs after a successful invention. The sweethearts, tesoros, honeys, darlings and every conceivable endearment thrown around easily in conversations. The not-so-subtle staring when Tony thought Bucky wasn't looking. The bickering and bantering that would lead the team to call them mom and dad. 

It was all there right in front of him. And Tony was right, Bucky wasn't blind. He saw it. He saw it all and he knew what it meant. He also knew what it would mean if he reciprocated. It would become impossible for Bucky to let go. He would never let go if he had taken that chance.

He wouldn't have looked back, wouldn't have stopped, because he loved Tony. He loved him with all his heart, whatever was left of it after seventy and more years of being a monster. He loved him so much that he was scared of imagining a future without Tony in it.

But that was what would happen if Bucky had reciprocated. If he had let on that he was madly in love with Tony Stark. 

Bucky knew what he was. People might say otherwise, the world might believe otherwise, but he knew what he was. He was bad luck. He was the thorn in the rose. He would make people bleed even if they had come to him for beauty. He would be the end of those who came too close.

With Steve he had no choice. But with Steve, Bucky wasn't risking his heart. Bucky wasn't risking Steve's heart. 

With Tony, he would be risking his everything. He would be putting Tony in the line of fire from every dark part of his life. With Tony, Bucky would destroy him. And that was one thing he would never do. Not till he had the last breath running in his body. Given a choice, he would rather rip his own heart out than shatter Tony. 

He had to keep him safe. Away from him. At a distance where he could keep an eye on him, keep him happy, but also keep him safe from Bucky. Because Bucky was always a danger. 

So he had to break Tony's heart. Had to shred the hope before it bloomed too much. Had to wrench away that shot at happiness before it turned into doom. He had to deny himself the simple joy of being able to be Tony's and Tony being his, the satisfaction of seeking his lips out when a mistletoe hung above them, the idea of calling Tony his sweetheart when somebody insinuated anything about them. He couldn't do that. He wouldn't do that. He didn't deserve that.

The elevator pinged and the doors opened to his floor. Bucky straightened himself and marched mechanically to his bedroom, feeling empty and cold even with the warmth of home around him. 

That night, Bucky had the worst nightmare of his life. He saw Tony falling away, slipping from his fingers, with him being the reason for it. It felt too close to reality and Bucky stopped sleeping at the end of it. The ceiling looked like a better option than watching his Tony get destroyed because of him.

\---------------

The morning coffee didn't taste as good as everyday and Bucky drank it with no more interest than the minimum as he sat on the kitchen table at the early break of dawn. He was sure that he hadn't slept for more than an hour and he didn't quite care. He would rather go sleepless than have nightmares about the man he loved and had lost quite certainly.

"Don't you look chipper this morning," a voice announced from the floor entrance and Bucky looked up to see Natasha striding in, a black duffel bag in tow. Clint followed her, his own bag slung casually over the shoulder. Natasha made a beeline for the kitchen, particularly the coffee machine and poured herself a large mug of it before she gracefully slumped onto a chair near Bucky. Clint dropped the bag on the couch and simply collapsed onto it, sprawled over it obnoxiously.

"Hey Barnes & Noble," Clint called out lazily and Bucky nodded before sipping on his coffee.

"Mission went well?" he asked, not really bothered but still posing the question for courtesy's sake.

Natasha raised an eyebrow before narrowing her eyes.

"Wow, you even sound like shit," she commented and Bucky frowned at her before going back to his coffee, "What? Got into a screaming match or something?"

"I'm fine" Bucky quipped quietly and Clint's head came up at that.

"That's like the first answer people give when they're not fine, man," he informed him before jumping up and strutting towards the kitchen himself, pouring himself a cup of coffee, "It's in the SHIELD Fuck-Ups 101."

Bucky didn't reply and stared at his own cup of coffee. Natasha noticed this and ducked her head, catching Bucky's eyes before raising her eyebrow in question. Before Bucky could answer though, Clint was cursing and screaming.

"What the fuck is this?" he yelped and put his coffee down in haste, staring at it in horror, "What was that in my mouth? What is that concoction?

"Errr, coffee?" Bucky asked skeptically and Natasha rolled her eyes but Clint glared at Bucky.

"That is not coffee," he declared emphatically, "that is garbage beans boiled in water. Where is Tony? Does he know that his machine had this atrocity in it?! His coffees are heavenly! What the hell happened? Did he forget his coffee or something?"

At Tony's mention, Bucky froze and Natasha frowned at him.

"What?" she asked and Clint looked at her curiously.

"What?" Bucky asked in reply, a bit gruff.

"That face, what was that face?"

"What face? This is my face."

"The face you made when Clint asked about Tony. What's wrong? Did you and Tony have a fight or something?"

"Oooh, you and Tony fought?" Clint chimed in excitedly making Bucky scowl, "What? Hey man, come one. Usually you two are so lovey dovey and compatible that it makes us gag. And then you fight when we're gone? Not fair. We always miss the action."

Bucky flipped him the bird and went back to his coffee with a scowl. Natasha raised an unimpressed eyebrow but let it go for now. Bucky in a bad mood was a pain to handle, especially if both Steve and Tony were not around. 

"Where's he anyway?" Clint continued, blissfully oblivious to the grumpy mood falling on the room, "Hey Friday! Where's Tony at?"

"Boss is currently in Malibu," the AI replied and Natasha was thankful for her quick reflexes when Bucky spat out some coffee her way.

"Aww, coffee," Clint tutted sadly but Bucky didn't notice him, gaping at the ceiling comically.

"Malibu? Why's he in Malibu? When did he go? When's he coming back? Did he leave a message?" Bucky shot out the questions without pause and Clint shared a suspicious look with Natasha.

"Man, he's just gone to Malibu. He has a house there, maybe he's taking a break. He  _did_ have a grueling quarter the last few months, right?" the archer suggested with a cautious shrug when Bucky turned on him with wide blown panicked eyes, "He'll be back soon, relax."

"But-he didn't tell anybody!" Bucky countered, clearly meaning that he didn't tell Bucky. Natasha narrowed her eyes and cleared her throat.

"Strange as that may be, it's not necessary that he inform us before he goes to his own home," she said calmly, unfazed by Bucky's glare, "besides, it's not like you're his boyfriend or anything that he should leave you a note, right?"

Bucky inhaled sharply at the hint but grit out, still angry.

"What if we have a call to assemble? The punk should have told us so that we could get prepared!" he argued, grasping at straws to justify his panic.

"Boss has already informed Ms. Potts and Captain Rogers about his trip," Friday spoke up helpfully, "in case of emergencies, Colonel Rhodes will take his place till he returns."

"Steve knew about this?" Bucky demands to no one in particular and stands up jerkily before leaving the room in quick steps, hardly bothering explaining himself. Clint watched him go and shot Natasha a tired look.

"Does he even realize how married he sounds?" he asked in an amused voice and Natasha shrugged.

"I think James doesn't realize a lot of things when it comes to Tony," she replied and Clint raised an eyebrow but nodded, looking morosely at the wasted coffee on the table.

"Fucking teenage angst," he muttered under his breath and Natasha hummed in agreement.

********************

Steve was getting tired of the current situation. The constant high strung tension between Bucky and the others was starting to affect everything. 

"I'm  _not_ having breakfast if he's gonna be there," Sam reiterated, scowling at Steve's exasperated expression, "seriously man, he's gone certifiably nuts. Last night he was inches away from stabbing me with the fork when Clint made that comment about Tony and his supposed ex-girls. When I eat, I like to eat without constantly looking out for flying knives and forks."

"Sam, he's not going to kill you," Steve sighed, rolling his eyes, "He's just...testy."

"Well, he's testing my survival at the dinner table, something I'd like to avoid first thing in the morning," Sam quipped, crossing his arms and standing his ground.

Steve was about to argue further when both of them heard footsteps and turned to see Bucky stalk into the floor. When he saw Sam and Steve, Bucky grunted something that sounded like 'morning' and Sam shot Steve a pointed look.

"Hey, Buck," Steve ignored Sam's look and greeted Bucky with a cheerful smile and bit back a wince when Bucky simply banged the coffee pot with force more than necessary, a clear indication that he was in a bad mood. Again. 

"Flying knives, forks and coffee," Sam warned quietly and Steve shot him a bemused look to which Sam just shrugged in response.

"Just sit down and drink your coffee," Steve muttered and Sam rolled his eyes at super soldiers and their death wishes but complied grudgingly when Wanda, Nat and Vision filed in soon. 

They were halfway through the toast and eggs when they heard a crashing sound in the vent above and Steve frowned at it till Clint dropped down. He didn't get a chance to reprimand him though because the archer was in one of his 'breaking news' moods.

"Hey guys! Guess who finally made an appearance!" Clint announced without preamble and Natasha raised an eyebrow at Wanda who shook her head.

"What is it, Clint?" Wanda asked and Clint turned excited eyes on her.

"Tony's back!"

The spilled glass of milk made Sam stand up and frown at Bucky who was staring at Clint with an unreadable expression.

Clint though ignored him on principle and continued, practically bursting to get it all out.

"Yeah, and that's not even the best part," he said and looked at Natasha meaningfully, "he's not come back alone."

"He's brought someone else? Who?" Natasha asked with a frown directed at Steve who was watching Bucky cautiously.

Before Clint could reply though, the elevator pinged, indicating someone's entry and all eyes turned to see the new entrants to the floor.

"Hello everyone," Tony called out with a half-wave and strutted in like it was just another day and he had been here all along, "what a lovely domestic setting we have here. Isn't it lovely, honey?" The last part was directed at a guy walking behind him, a brunet with green eyes and olive skin. He was a couple of inches taller than Tony and had a mischievous twinkle in his eyes when he casually held Tony by the waist and smirked at him. 

"Can't say I haven't seen lovelier sights in the past few days, gorgeous," the stranger responded and winked in a knowing way at Tony, leaning a bit forward and touching Tony's shoulder with his own. Tony smirked back at him, a slow, intimate quirk of the lips that gave quite a clear meaning that this wasn't some business associate.

"Hi Tony," Natasha broke the awkward tension and gazed thoughtfully at the genius and his 'friend' before addressing Tony in a pointed tone, "didn't know you were coming back today."

"Yeah man, we missed you for the last two weeks," Clint said meaningfully, looking at Bucky who was gripping his spoon hard enough to bend it and staring at Tony with an expression that was equal parts painful and scary.

"Aww, you did?" Tony drawled and batted his eyes at Clint, "that's so sweet, Birdbrain."

"Yes, we needed someone to fix the coffee machine," Wanda quipped dryly and Tony shot her an amused smirk.

"Always knew you had your priorities straight, Maximoff," Tony commented and Wanda shrugged with a small smirk of her own. 

"Welcome back, Tony," Steve spoke up finally, clearing his thoughts and smiling politely at the stranger but shooting Tony a questioning glance, "how was Malibu? Good vacation?"

"Well, I wouldn't call it a  _vacation_ ," Tony drawled and looked at the stranger beside him with a grin that had bedroom written all over it, something Mr.New Sexy Stranger returned with one of his own, "but sure, we'll spare your sensibilities with that term, Cap. Malibu was good and the company there was even better."

"The company felt the same way," the stranger quipped before smiling at Steve and walking forward with an outstretched hand, "Hi, Oliver Grand. Good to finally meet you."

"Steve Rogers," Steve answered, shaking the hand firmly, "sorry, we weren't expecting guests."

"Ah, that's okay. I've spent mornings looking far worse," Oliver replied with an easy grin and Tony snorted, like it was an inside joke. Bucky was practically spitting fire by now.

"Who're you?" he asked bluntly and Sam cleared his throat, exchanging looks with Natasha who shrugged lightly. 

Either Oliver was blind at noticing the murderous expression on Bucky's face or he was really brave and conditioned to super-soldiers because he didn't blink before looking at Bucky with an assessing look.

"I'm a writer. I work freelance for the Times but I'm mostly independent and work around the books arena," Oliver replied with a charming smile that had no effect on Bucky whatsoever, "You must be James Barnes. Long hair, grey eyes, dead giveaways. Heard a lot about you in the news and exhibitions. Nice to meet you, Mr. Barnes."

Bucky didn't acknowledge the compliment and stared at Tony instead.

"You left without saying anything," he said, without preamble and Steve sighed lightly, "you couldn't leave a message?"

Tony, to his credit, didn't faze under the intensity of Bucky's gaze and simply cocked an eyebrow.

"I  _did_ leave a message for Cap," he said with an easy smile at Steve that was clearly fake, "it was just a quick getaway. I would have come in case of any emergencies. Why? Did anybody need me here?"

Bucky wanted to snap "I did" but couldn't do it. Not after what he had told Tony before he left. So he settled for clenching his jaw and shooting a murderous look at Oliver, who looked amused and was now casually drawing in Tony by the waist, resting his hand on the small of his back. 

Bucky stood up from his chair, having seen enough and made a muttered excuse before walking out of the floor, escaping to his quarters to sort his thoughts. Tony didn't watch him go and instead gestured Oliver to sit down, moving around him to get them coffee. Clint exchanged glances with Natasha when they saw Tony graze the back of Oliver's neck with his hand as he walked. 

There was an awkward silence for a few minutes, everyone wondering how to proceed as Tony brought back two cups of coffee and sat beside Oliver, his knee bumping against the guy's. 

"So, Oliver, writer huh?" Sam broke the silence and gave a small smile to the new guy. Tony seemed to relax at that and Oliver smiled back, going into detail about his work.

Steve saw Tony shoot a discreet look at the door and wondered what new trouble the genius had brewed up from Malibu.

************

Oliver stayed in the Tower. Bucky looked worse every morning since he came, eyes rimmed red and face tired. Tony was not paying attention to it or was consciously ignoring it.

Natasha was inching close to madness.

Oliver would join them for breakfast whenever he didn't have to rush somewhere in the morning and Bucky would quietly leave the room as soon as Tony joined the table and got handsy with Oliver. They'd have a press conference or a charity event and Tony would slink off with Oliver at the end of it, even as Bucky would try to approach him to talk. Movie nights were more of a calm before the storm when Oliver would take Bucky's old spot, beside Tony on the sette and Bucky would sit beside Steve, leaving the movie half-way if Tony kissed Oliver's cheek or forehead. Dinners were a test of patience as soon as Oliver would casually offer Tony a piece of food on his fork and the genius would eat it without missing a beat. Bucky always lost his appetite at that point. Everybody could see what was happening. Bucky was slowly breaking and Tony was clearly showing Oliver off with his exaggerated PDA, though nothing went more than casual touches, cheek kisses or hand-holding. 

Of course, that was when Pepper had to announce the New Year's Ball hosted by Maria Stark Foundation. 

"Barnes, you're killing me here," Sam sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, "You know it's mandatory and Steve will not go to this thing if you don't come. I don't want to be the person who explains that to Pepper Potts. Just put on a suit, wear your 'I'm not crazy' expression and endure it for one evening."

"I'm not coming, Sam. I told Stevie and Ms. Potts already, I'm not interested," Bucky repeated, sitting stubbornly on the bed as Sam stood above him in his night blue tux.

"Dude, it's just a couple of hours," Clint argued from the other side of the bed, trying hard to not mess up his dark wine tux, "and it's an open bar. Come on, it'll be fun."

Bucky shot him a pointed look and Clint sighed.

"Fine, it won't be fun but it'll definitely be better than sitting alone in the Tower, right?"

"Yes, Bucky," Vision added calmly, standing next to Sam in his traditional black suit, "I believe New Year's Eve should not be an occasion to be alone. Wanda tells me that there is a ball that drops and people are meant to kiss each other when it does. You cannot kiss anyone if you are alone."

"Oh great! Now I definitely don't want to come," Bucky groaned, remembering that he didn't want to kiss anyone, well, anyone other than the one person he wasn't allowed to kiss. The person who would probably kiss the life out of that smug bastard Grand.

"James, don't listen to Viz," Wanda chided and smiled softly when Bucky looked at her, "look, everyone's going and everybody's going to feel miserable at midnight because we're all losers at some level."

"Hey!" Clint and Sam exclaimed but Wanda ignored them and Bucky snorted.

"What's going on here?" Natasha asked as she walked into the room, her champagne colored strapless gown flowing like a waterfall around her figure. She took one look at the moping Bucky with an ice-cream bucket by his side and frowned. "Barnes, get your ass off the bed and put that thing away. Where's your suit?"

"I don't need one, I'm not coming," Bucky mumbled but Wanda rolled her eyes and went to the wardrobe. She peered at the couple of tailored suits and tuxes he had, thanks to Tony's constant shopping trips with him in the past. Deciding on a dark grey tux that would perfectly highlight Bucky's eyes, she brought it out and waved it in front of Bucky.

"Look here, Barnes," Natasha threatened quietly when Bucky didn't move, "you can either sit here and mope over your little love triangle, yes I know about it, everybody does, shut up. You can either do that or you can get up, come with us, face Tony and sort this little game you two are playing once and for all."

"He's not-I'm not-I can't do that," Bucky said lamely and Sam groaned loudly before throwing a cushion from a chair at Bucky.

"Man, shut up. Just shut up," he said firmly and Bucky scowled at him, "it's been a long time now. You're acting like a love sick teenager and honestly, I've seen enough of high school romances for one lifetime. I don't know what happened between you two or what you did to screw it up, because you two are EVIDENTLY in love and act weird when you try to hide it. Whatever happened, it's in the past. You want to find a solution, open your damn mouth and talk to the idiot. If I see one more time he shoots exaggerated winks at Grand, I'll stab him myself."

"Yeah, it's getting kind of desperate," Clint agreed with a scrunched up expression.

"He's happy with him," Bucky grumbled before adding quietly, "and without me."

"Are you blind?!" a voice came from the door and everybody turned to see James Rhodey Rhodes standing beside a smug looking Steve, "Are you honest to God blind, Barnes?"

"What are you doing here?" Bucky asked in surprise but Rhodey waved him off and marched in till he stood right in front of Bucky.

"What the hell are you doing?" he demanded and Bucky looked at Steve who simply shrugged with an oh-so-innocent look, "no, look at me. You honestly think Tony's happy with that new guy, whatshisname? Why, because the two act lovey dovey in front of you? Have you ever seen Tony act like this when he's normal and at ease? He's reaching way too hard, and I know this because I had to endure an entire lunch with the two today. They're not in love, in fact, I'm not even sure they know each other all that well. Grand called Tony winky-dinky today. Winky-dinky! I thought I was going to explode with laughter but Tony simply batted his eye-lashes. And it was fake as hell."

"But why would he do that?" Bucky countered and Rhodey growled.

"I don't know, do you think he has any reason to put on a show in front of everyone? Maybe to convince somebody of something? Jealousy? RIng any bell?" Rhodey asked sarcastically and Bucky blinked before frowning.

"You think he's acting?"

"That's for you to find out, Barnes," Rhodey shrugged but continued seriously, "Look, I don't know what happened, but he usually doesn't go to Malibu unless he's pissed or hurt. And I'm thinking that it has something to do with you."

"Why would you -"

"You're not fooling anybody, champ," Clint cut in with an eye-roll and Bucky swallowed nervously, "everybody knows that you like Tony and that Tony likes you. It's kind of an open secret. We're all surprised you guys aren't screwing like rabbits, actually. The UST is off the charts."

Bucky stared at everyone who gave him the same firm look before sighing.

"Actually, he did ask me out. During the last Gala," Bucky revealed and Steve frowned at that.

"And?" he asked.

"I said no," Bucky said softly. Rhodey glared at him and looked at Natasha, who looked annoyed by now.

"Explain," she said quietly and Bucky felt too tired to fight. Slowly, haltingly, he explained the whole incident. He didn't delve too much into his reasoning but Steve and Natasha were smart enough to fill the gaps.

"You are an absolute idiot," Sam said in the end and Steve shot him a glare, "What? It's true!"

"What Sam means," Steve said, ignoring Sam, "is that you're not being fair to yourself or Tony by doing this, Buck. Tony's not a fool and he's definitely not delusional. He knows you, all about you, and likes you with that, not despite that. You brushing him off just because you think it's good for him is kind of..."

"Insulting," Rhodey completed, "the word you're looking for is insulting."

"I just want him to be happy," Bucky muttered and Wanda sighed before coming over and patting him on the shoulder.

"What ever gave you the idea that he wasn't happy with you, Bucky?" she asked softly and he looked up, blinking at her.

"I screwed up, huh?" he asked after a few minutes and Clint murmured a quiet "Understatement of the century".

"Yes," Natasha said firmly, "but you still have a chance. Now, get dressed and come with us. It's a new year and you've got some old issues to settle."

When Bucky hesitated, Sam pointed out something.

"Or you could just let Tony kiss Oliver tonight."

The speed at which Bucky grabbed the tux off Wanda's hand made Steve chuckle as he herded everyone else out of the room, letting Bucky get dressed in peace.

***************

The Ball was as boring as he had imagined. Bucky hated social events of the elite, especially when they all swarmed around the Avengers like bedazzled vultures. He kept close to the corners, not attracting much attention to himself and tried to focus on Tony, who was busy talking to people of different companies. Bucky pulled at his bow-tie one more time as he watched Tony plaster on a fake smile and greet Christine Everhart. He knew how much Tony disliked her and ususally, would have gone to take Tony away under pretense of a problem. Now though, he felt nervous. He looked around for Oliver, hoping that the guy didn't make an appearance. For the next ten minutes, when there was no sign of him, Bucky glanced at Steve and Sam across the hall and took a deep breath. Both of them nodded their heads in encouragement. 

"Time to face the music, Barnes," he muttered to himself before making his way towards Tony.

He was almost there when Oliver appeared, slipping an arm around Tony. As he watched, he saw Tony tilt his head up with a curious look and saw Oliver bend his head down, leaning in, almost breathing on Tony's face, inching closer to -

Bucky wrenched his eyes away, feeling hot under his collar and took in a harsh breath. He could see Clint moving from his spot, looking concerned, but he didn't want anybody's pity. He couldn't be here anymore. Not when Tony was clearly comfortable with Oliver. 

He could feel his heart break as his hope fizzled out and he walked out of the room, avoiding Clint and the others with his swift steps. He needed air. He needed to get out.

He didn't wait till he reached the men's room and then locked the door from the inside.

And then he proceeded to break down, feeling hopeless and lost, knowing that he had thrown away something that could have been his most precious part.

***************

Tony watched as Oliver bent closer, his breath fanning over Tony's face. He winced internally at the smell of alcohol on the guy's breath. He knew that the guy was an actor but he could have had the professionalism of not drinking till the facade was complete, right? 

"What are you doing?" he hissed when Oliver was almost touching his lips, making sure to keep his face devoid of irritation.

"What you asked, Mr.Stark. Being your boyfriend," Oliver or rather, Gerry, replied with a smarmy smile.

"Back off, you know the rule. No kissing." Tony warned, without moving his lips all that much and ducking his face into Gerry's neck to hiss into his ear.

"Aww, come one  _Tony_ ,' the obviously drunk actor whined, "I'm just playing my part well. Really well."

"Yeah, well, you play it any better and we'll have some serious changes to our deal," Tony said plainly, putting a hand between them and moving away with a sappy looking grin. Oliver/Gerry looked like he was about to make a scene when Natasha appeared beside Tony.

"Hi, everything alright?" she asked, pointedly smiling at Tony who shrugged casually.

"Yeah, yeah, Oliver here was just telling me that he wanted to go see the art collection," he said and Natasha narrowed her eyes but turned to Oliver nonetheless.

"Why don't I take you to see them, Mr.Grand," she said mock-sweetly and shot a look at Tony, "Tony has an emergency to attend to."

"I do?" Tony asked in confusion as Natasha steered Oliver away.

"Yeah, in the restroom" she said firmly before disappearing into the crowd with a confused Oliver/Gerry. Tony was well versed in Natasha's tones to know that it was a serious order and not an option. And when Natasha ordered something, it was usually really important. Placing his glass of cider on a passing waiter's tray, Tony straightened his tux and walked out the room, towards the men's room, expecting the worst.

When he reached the place, he was surprised to see that it was locked. Since he was expecting a supervillain or some threat, by Natasha's hint, he didn't bother knocking and simply pulled out his mini-gauntlet from his pocket. It had an all-lock opening facility and it took him minutes to open the door.

As soon as he stepped in, he froze, looking at the man before him. Bucky's eyes snapped up and Tony felt his heart stop at the broken expression on his face.

"Bucky? What's wrong?" he asked immediately, putting all these days of consistently ignoring the man behind him. He saw Bucky's expression morph from despair to panic and stopped himself from rushing forward. "Honey, whatever it is, you're gonna be fine, okay?" he said calmly, noting the way Bucky's eyes tracked his movements.

"Tony..." Bucky whispered before drawing himself up and pushing back against the sink where he had been leaning, "What are you doing here? You shouldn't be here."

Tony raised an eyebrow but moved forward, not quite into Bucky's personal space but near enough. 

"Technically yes, I shouldn't, but Natasha said that there was an emergency here," he said with a small shrug. Bucky tensed before cursing under his breath.

"No emergency, it's all fine," Bucky said softly, looking down at his own tux, brushing off the water that had stuck there when he had been splashing water on his face, "You should go back to Grand. To the party, I mean."

"Right," Tony said skeptically but didn't move, shuffling his feet till he was standing against the wash basin to his back, shoulder almost touching Bucky's, "Clearly it's all fine here."

"It's nothing, Tony. Just a little situation," Bucky mumbled and Tony stared at him with an unreadable expression before sighing.

"Come here," he said tiredly and Bucky blinked at him when he opened his arms, "Come on, don't stand gawking at me, it doesn't suit you. Come here, come on Buck."

"Tony...I..."

"Will you please come here already?" Tony whispered and Bucky breathed in a shaky lungful of air before stumbling forward easily into Tony's arms, burying his face in the crook of the shorter man's neck.

"I'm sorry," Bucky muttered into Tony's skin and the genius tightened his hold around Bucky before relaxing, rubbing small circles onto his back.

"I know," Tony said simply, in that hushed voice people used to talk between pillows, "I know."

"You should go back. He'll be waiting for you," Bucky mumbled again, feeling pathetic but not letting go of Tony either. Tony snorted into Bucky's hair but didn't relinquish his hold.

"Yeah, you're really convincing right now," he said sarcastically and Bucky burrowed his nose closer to Tony's neck, breathing in his scent, "It's okay, it's gonna be okay. You're such a big puppy, stop huffing against my neck, it tickles."

"Don't care," Bucky grumbled, feeling better than weeks as Tony chuckled but ran a soothing hand over his hair.

They stood there hugging each other for a few minutes, Tony complaining loudly about Bucky's body heat and weight but Bucky simply snuggling in closer and grumbling against Tony's neck. After some time, Tony patted Bucky's shoulder gently, signalling that he needed to lean back and Bucky reluctantly let go of his octopus hold. Tony took a step back but still held on to Bucky's arms, a small grin on his face.

"Feeling better?" he asked and Bucky shrugged but his face looked calmer and Tony knew that he was fine.

"I'm fine. You should go," Bucky said softly, tiredly gesturing to the door and Tony frowned.

"Really? This again?" he demanded and Bucky blinked, looking at Tony in confusion.

"What again?"

"This! You pushing me away! How many times are you gonna do this exactly?" Tony demanded with a firm scowl on his face.

"You have a boyfriend now!" Bucky shot back, genuinely puzzled as to what Tony was getting at. The genius huffed and let go of Bucky's arms, running a hand through his hair.

"God, you're trickier than I expected!" Tony muttered to himself before looking up at Bucky and asking bluntly, "Are you jealous of him?"

"What?"

"Are. You. Jealous. Of. Him?"

"Tony, that's not- why do you -..."

"It's a yes or no question, Barnes. Just answer it. Are you jealous of him or not?" Tony asked and continued ruthlessly when Bucky looked hesitant and pained, "Are you okay with him holding my hand and leaning into me intimately when we go out? Are you okay with him snuggling up to me during movie nights? Are you okay with him being the one to eat off my fork, tasting what I had just eaten? Are you okay with him kissing me when we -"

"Yes, okay? Yes!" Bucky exploded, making Tony snap his mouth close. Breathing in harshly, Bucky grit his jaw but spoke a little calmer when he continued, "Yes, I'm jealous. Are you happy now? Is that what you wanted to hear? I'm jealous of your smug bastard of a boyfriend. I don't like him. At all. I want to punch him in the jaw whenever he looks at you with that knowing smirk on his face. I feel like downing hot coffee on him when he snags your breakfast, which is cruel because I make your breakfast and I make it for you! I hate it that he gets to do everything with you when I- when I-"

"When you want to be the one to do it instead," Tony completed the sentence for him softly and Bucky didn't respond, choosing to look away. Both of them didn't speak for a few minutes and Bucky closed his eyes when he heard Tony clearing his throat awkwardly behind him.

"You really hurt me, you know?" Tony said softly and Bucky clenched his eyes shut, bowing his head and letting guilt wash over him. He knew that he had hurt Tony, of course he knew. And he also knew that he deserved this, this pain and helplessness. But hearing the words from Tony, hearing that he had been hurt made this so much more real and that was tearing away at Bucky's heart.

"I never thought that you'd ever call me a problem," Tony said simply and Bucky opened his eyes with a start, turning around with wide eyes and looking at Tony who smiled sadly and shook his head, "No, don't, I've been waiting for weeks to tell you this but I didn't have the right words. Just please, let me say this."

Bucky swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded once, clenching his hands to stop himself from reaching for Tony.

"Dad used to call me that, you know?" Tony began, looking at his own reflection in the mirror above the basin, laughing mirthlessly, "Said I was the biggest problem of his life. Grade A parent, that guy, real piece of work. He had a shitload of issues of his own but apparently  _I_ was his biggest problem. I know he was an ass for saying that but back then, as a kid, I didn't think so. I believed him and that, boy that got me into some big messes. Trying to prove my worth all the time made me ruthless and arrogant. I stopped caring about what people thought of me after he died. If I was a problem to my own father then why should I care about what the world thought of me, right? Well, turns out that wasn't the right way to go, but it did shape a large part of how I lived."

Tony paused and fiddled with his collar, smoothing down the creases on his suit before he continued.

"When I first met you, I wanted to have nothing to do with you," he said bluntly, glancing at Bucky with a bitter smile before chuckling and continuing, "I had every reason not to like you, right? Your past with Steve, who would clearly fight everyone over you. Your past with Hydra scumbags, which made you a liability to the group. And of course, the small issue of your past linked with mine. The accident. I had no reason to like you and honestly, I didn't think I'd find one either. But then I actually met you, talked to you. It was strange for me trust me, trying to keep myself interested only in your arm and not you. I tried really hard too. Of course, that didn't work out, because you're not somebody people ignore. Somebody I can ignore. Which is how I found myself reluctantly noticing you for who you are and not what you came with."

Bucky found himself pinned with Tony's intense gaze as he tilted his body and stared at him.

"You're not the best guy I know, Bucky," he said and Bucky snorted at that which made Tony relax a bit, "No, seriously, you're not. That would be Rhodey, that'll always be Rhodey for me. Just the way it'll always be Steve for you. But you are special, pretty damn special. To me. I won't wax poetic about the reasons and your qualities because honestly, if you can't see it in my actions then you won't see it in my words. You are important to me, quite possibly more than most people I know. When you're around, I feel better, more relaxed. I feel at home and that's something I haven't felt a lot of times in my life. I like you, possibly even love you. Actually, I do love you. I get that you have your issues because I have mine too. I ran to Malibu when you said no, that's a pretty big indicator of my issues. But the way I see it, you have two choices: 1) You can do what your heart wants and solve these issues with the person you trust and love or 2) You can take away any chance of getting what you want and wallow in misery. Now me, I'm selfish. I don't want to sacrifice my happiness. I want you. With your issues, because then we'll both have a shot at balancing each other. But I can't force you to take the same decision. That's your choice. So, I'm asking again, do you want to be with me and my truckload of problems with a dash of my awesomeness? Or do you want to continue playing the pining guy?"

Bucky looked torn between wanting to laugh and wanting to cry. On one hand, he was getting a second chance, one he definitely didn't think he deserved. On the other hand, he had to explain his own issues too. Taking a deep breath, he began to talk.

"When I called you the problem, I didn't mean it that way," he said and Tony, to his credit, simply nodded, "I would never mean it that way. You're not a problem to me. You're kind of my solution to a lot of things. I meant that you were the reason I can't date you."

When Tony opened his mouth to argue about the stupidity of it, Bucky raised his hand and grinned sadly.

"Yes, I know, I know it sounds stupid," he said and Tony rolled his eyes in agreement, "but it makes sense in my head. Tony, all my life, at least the one ever since I joined the Army, I've done nothing but bring trouble to people I care about. And not small trouble, fatal trouble. With all the shit from Hydra and seven decades of being an assassin, a toy for the very organization I wanted to fight, I'm more problematic than you realize. And you, you already have so many people creating problems for you. Putting myself into your equation would have done nothing less than painting a target on your back, well, more than necessary at least."

"I'm Iron Man, an Avengers. You think I'm not problematic on my own or that I can't handle things?" Tony asked with a frown.

"No, I know you're capable and strong," Bucky shook his head, "but you're also prone to putting everything at stake for the people you love. Even as a friend, you were willing to do that for me before. If we became more, if we got into a relationship, it'll just increase multifold. I know, I know that it's an excuse, but it was valid in my head. I've lost a lot already. If I lost you because of me, I won't be able to take it."

"But you do like me?" Tony asked quietly and Bucky chuckled mirthlessly.

"Like you? Tony, I've been in love with you for months," he said quietly, "It has been a living hell, watching you flirt with me and holding myself back from crossing boundaries. You don't-you can't know how shitty I felt for saying no to you. I know I broke you heart but I also broke mine. When you were gone, I kept thinking to myself that I had destroyed everything. I wanted to come to you and beg you to forgive me but I couldn't, I couldn't do that. I didn't know how to face you when I couldn't face myself. I think everyone knew that something was wrong. I was horrible to everyone because I felt horrible myself."

Bucky paused and shook his head tiredly.

"And then you came back with Oliver," he said with a bitter smile, "That guy is really lucky that I haven't punched him yet. I felt my skin crawling everytime I looked at both of you. It was like a constant pain and I couldn't do anything about it. Worst days of my life!"

"And now? Now that you have a choice again?" Tony asked and Bucky looked up at him with a soft smile.

"I know that I should say no. I don't deserve a second chance, not after what happened," he said quietly and Tony looked like he was going to protest but Bucky continued, "but after trying to live without you, without the right to be with you, I don't really think I can say no. You're not the only selfish one. So if you'll have me, if you are okay with all my issues and messes, then yes. I want you. I love you. I want us."

Tony stared at Bucky with an unreadable expression for a few seconds before he broke into a relieved smile and rushed forward.

"Finally" he whispered and pulled Bucky down by the lapels of his tux, crashing into his lips with a fervor of a parched man. Bucky clutched at Tony's elbows to balance himself before smoothing one hand up to his face and cupping his cheek, the other hand settling over the small of his back, dragging him closer. Tony made a happy sound at that and tilted his head to get a better angle before he explored Bucky's mouth, unrelenting, unstoppable and wild. Bucky in contrast, surrendered with relief, tasting Tony's joy, willing, wanting and uncaring of the world. When Tony's hand wandered below to cup Bucky's ass, the latter laughed into his mouth and leaned back, smiling at the way Tony tried to follow blindly.

"Not here, not now," he said gently and Tony whined, a needy sound that shot through Bucky's blood with want.

"Now's good. Come on, please," Tony argued and tried to pull him back but Bucky chuckled and covered the tanned hands with his own metal and flesh ones.

"We're still in a party, doll," he reminded fondly, "and I am not doing anything till we get back home. There are a lot of things I want to do to you and I'm not risking interruption once I start. Besides, your bed has more possibilities for some...stretchable activities."

"Urgh, you're not helping," Tony huffed at the imagery and rested his head against Bucky's chest, "Fine! Let's go. Right now."

Bucky was laughing when Tony tried to pull him but stopped.

"Don't you have to tell your date for the evening that we're leaving?" Bucky asked and Tony smiled slyly at the possessive annoyance in his voice, "And that he should go back to Malibu or wherever he's from?"

"Nah, I'll just text him that we're done," Tony shrugged, "He'll get the cash later anyway, so it's fine."

Bucky froze and frowned down at Tony.

"Cash? What are you talking about?"

Tony stilled before giving Bucky a sheepish grin and rubbing at his neck.

"Erm, that, right. He's an actor? I hired? To kind of, maybe, try to make you jealous?" Tony rushed and Bucky stared at him, making the genius squirm.

After a minute, Bucky burst out laughing and Tony frowned.

"You absolute ass!" Bucky laughed and Tony grinned, waggling his eyebrows, "You know, for that, for that little trick, I'm going to keep you with me forever. You're a menace without me!"

Tony winked at Bucky before leaning up to peck at his lips.

"Whatever you say, darling," he whispered and Bucky laughed against his lips, holding him close and safe. Finally.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews and feedback will be loved!


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